A Lot Of Buzz… But Little Bite
THE GREEN HORNET (CINEMA)
Release date: January 14th 2011
Certificate (UK): 11A
Running time: 119 minutes
Director: Michel Gondry
Cast: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz, Tom Wilkinson
There’s always been something culty and understated about the Green Hornet. As far as superheroes go he seemed to be one of the most daring despite his lack of superpowers. Unlike Superman and Spiderman he really had something to lose, especially as he was fighting crime disguised as a criminal.
This updated version follows wealthy lay-about Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) and his genius friend Kato (Jay Chou) as they fight crime and corruption in the city. Crime boss Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz) starts to take notice of them, and tensions begin to rise as Britt and Kato try to woo Britt’s new secretary, Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz). Of course, they struggle to keep their focus.
Born as a radio serial in the 1930’s, The Green Hornet has been featured in film serials, comic books and for one season in a 1960s television series which launched the career of martial arts legend Bruce Lee in the U.S. This should have been the ultimate adventure for the masked vigilantes in their long history but it falls short.
BLACK BEAUTY WEAPONS:
- Two .30-Caliber M1919 Browning Machine Guns – cartridge-fed, hood-mounted, retractable
- Eight FIM-92A Stinger Missiles – front bumper loaded
- Four FIM-92A Stinger Missiles – rear bumper loaded
- One M2 Grill mounted Flamethrower – modified
- Two Benelli M2 20 Gauge Shotguns loaded with non-lethal, kinetic impact munitions rifles (rubber bullets / beanbags) – mounted in the light bezels
- Six AR-15 12-Gauge modified door guns – inset 3 per front suicide door
- Two Retractable front wheel anti-riot spikes
- One .30-Caliber M1919A6 Browning Machine Gun on tripod mount – trunk
- Passenger glove box weapons control with vector graphics
- Steering wheel d-pad targeting and fire controls
BLACK BEAUTY ACCESSORIES:
- Front-end suicide doors
- Front facing Green HID lamps with Somatosensory Amplification – 6,000,000 candlepower
- Cataclysmic event front ejector seat system
- Sony NV-U94T GPS receiver
- Possio Greta GSM Mobile Fax Machine
- Sony PS-LX250H belt-driven turntable
- Danby DIM1524W Ice Maker
- Rear door child safety locks
Scenes with Britt and Kato rolling through the neighbourhood in the Black Beauty singing to ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ do raise a laugh, and their epic fight scene over Lenore was fun to watch, but the movie is brought down by a screenplay which barely has a story to hold it together.
We don’t learn anything new about Britt or Kato, and Lenore’s character doesn’t surprise either – a missed opportunity. Furthermore, we see nothing of the empathy superheroes usually show for the citizens they want to protect.
The Green Hornet (and to some extent, Kato as well), only seems to be motivated by the need to feel better about himself, despite or maybe because of the incredible wealth left to him by his father. It’s a poorly told story, especially for this day and age.
The 3D effects don’t make a lot of a difference. Release dates were pushed back by Sony so that there would be enough time for the conversion, but the story remains 2-dimensional nevertheless.
There is one thing I really did enjoy; the Black Beauty, Britt and Kato’s car – a modified version of the Chrysler Imperial 1964-66. Built by Kato with everything you can imagine for a superhero car, it has everything your average superhero would need for a full night’s worth of crime fighting. It even fits in an elevator. Or does it.
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