Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

“Good morning Jesse, you are looking better.” Honestly, what do you say to that?

Henry was going to be difficult not to trust, she has a very low key vibe going on and I am surprised I had not noticed before her resemblance to Lisa, the hair and the eyes. I think I will not comment on this.

She wasted no time in beginning her job but I am not willing to let her take control. This is not my first time in this situation, I had spent time with a number of shrinks during the Northgate affair… so I knew the lay of the land. Better to turn the table now. Do I have a lawyer? If so, have you talked to him? Does he approve of you being here? Have I been charged? Where are my parents?

“Yes, you do have a lawyer, I have spoken with him and no, he is not aware that I am seeing you now. As far as being charged, yes you have and as an adult. So your parents are of no concern to me at this moment. Tell me about Northgate.”

Abrupt, different style. Henry, should I call you Henry? I am sure you have read my files so what is the point?

“The point is Jesse, I need to know some things about you and I would rather they come from you than from an anonymous writer in a police report. I would really like your point of view.”

I could feel Freddy laughing, he liked Henry and loved the fact that I was nervous and scared, although I think I am doing a good job pretending I am not…OK.

One case has nothing to do with the other. Northgate was very clear and simple. A boy I went to school with was an asshole, he made my life a living hell… everyday, almost every minute. Fag, Homo, Queer, that was all I heard, I progressively moved from the front row of the classroom to the back, he followed. I was depressed and agitated… the teachers did nothing but smirk.

One day as we are walking across the quad… he asked me if I wanted to blow him, this was in front of a group of his friends. I knew I had to make this stop. So I picked up a brick, I hit him once in the face and once in the back of the head as he fell to the ground. The first hit knocked out 6 teeth and broke his nose. The second, who knows?

Henry was silent for a moment and then… “So do you feel it is in any way your fault that you are living on Elm Street?”

No, I replied, my father took the house without telling us, he knew about Nancy, he did not mention it. The house was cheap, he bought it… so not really. “Well” said Henry “you assaulting Derrick did cost you father quite a bit of money. $200,000 for a settlement…. meaning he could not afford your old home, you were not allowed within 1000 feet of Derrick, so no Northgate… that was another $30,000 down the drain… so the way I see it is he did the best he could. Who is this Nancy girl you mentioned?”
Nancy Thompson, please Henry let’s not go down that road…you know who Nancy is… by the way, where did you put her? Am I going to the same place?

She closed her book and said goodbye. Nothing new for me, no answers about Lisa. I knew I would be waiting a long time for that question to be answered. I had the time and I would ask Nancy these question myself when she came to me. I may appear to be alright but I am not. I accept that life as I knew it is over, nevertheless I am afraid of the future and nervous about now.

“That’s the way it goes” said Freddy, “that’s the way it goes. Jesse.”