Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Lisa hails a cab and we quickly leave the station. She has arranged a nice restaurant in which we can talk in private. Lisa does not live in Princeton, that was a ruse and now we are in a small town in New Jersey sitting and talking as if no time had passed. The baby is due any minute, she is married to a college friend, She is studying Art Therapy and keeps close tabs on the Art Scene in New York City…”So when I saw you picture in The New York Times with the name ________, I knew it was you and I had to find a way to reach you and get you out of the city… as you can see it is not easy to travel” Big Smile.

We both have so many question and so much information… so first we just drank some tea and calmed down… then she began… “in the factory everything became very still, I saw Fred turn into you, I felt him taking you away mentally… you sat down on the floor and began to cry… it seemed like you were holding something very precious in you arms… I was afraid to interfere as I thought you were in shock and I worried that you … I don’t know… that something would happen. Of course I was totally freaked out, covered in blood and exhausted. I called my dad and then I called the police. They were there in seconds and took you away in an ambulance. They talked to me for hours and I made a decision to lie about what had happened. I understood they would never believe us about Fred… really I do not think most people saw him… he was so fast.

With what you told me about Ron, I knew what was about to happen and I wanted to protect you. I spoke at your hearing, I told them that you had been having a breakdown for months, that I thought you had a personality split… that you believed a man had taken over your body… what had happen with the ass Schneider and the trauma you suffer there… there was no sympathy for him as many guys came forward to say he had done the same to them and worse. He held one boy hostage for a month and raped him often… so no one was interested in his death, they were happy… many people spoke on you behalf and in the end you were committed to a hospital for the mentally ill. They would not give us the location… supposedly for our and your protection, plus you were isolated for a year basically in a coma. Your family fell apart quickly and then your father was arrested… that was the end. I am sorry about Cheryl, she was a good lady but I think after losing all of you she could not live anymore.

My parents have had much trouble, they are still together… they live in Arizona, They will never be the same… you know Dad accidentally killed one of the boys at the party? He had never fired that gun before… he almost killed you. The Gradys still live in the same house and have basically gone crazy waiting for Ron to come home.

I moved away quickly and found this place, met Steven and tried to forget. I study… you know me I work hard… but I never relax, lately there have been signs that Fred has been near my house and school. This cannot be, I will not allow it. I know he is here right now on some sick level and I am warning him that if he comes near me or my family I will kill him this time… no matter what. I have to protect my baby.

I was relieved when I saw you were free and then doing so well in New York, I wanted to let you grow and really have a chance at happiness. But when I saw the painting, I knew what was happening and Jesse you know I love you and I will not allow your life to be destroyed by this sick creature… that is why I bought the painting, by the way it was donated to Smith College…. so that is it… that is what I know.

I am sure you have a million question as do I, let’s eat… you look too skinny. Oh yes by the way, he is a boy… yes and we are naming him Jesse… honey you have to know you are very loved, you still have a family… you are not alone in this world and we love you totally as you are… now eat and then we will talk about it some more.”