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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 68, 1985

The flight was uneventful. Fred was quiet which lead me to believe that he was in Springwood, hopefully trying up loose ends. The car met me at the gate. I had requested a discreet black sedan and a quiet driver. This company was used to every kind of request, it was subtle and cost a fortune. I would receive what I paid for. As we drove Sunset Blvd. to Brentwood I had a bit of nerves as Fred arrived but he was quiet and resting in my body… I hope this will be our last few moments together. I prayed, I was nervous but we are deep into the game so I pushed my feelings down and moved forward.

As the house came into view…. manicured, European… I was not surprised to see a red sports car of some sort in the drive… a jag or something like that. I do not know much about cars. The only auto I ever owned cost $400 and needed shocks but l loved it as it was FREEDOM. I had a name for the car but I can not remember what it was at the moment… nerves again.

He answered the door himself as I summoned a smile. He said we would be alone as the lady was off today. Perfect. In the hall we spoke of mutual friends and began to talk about art. When he showed me into his office/den I was impressed with the beauty of the room, the romance really… the lair of an intellectual. I quickly came to my point.

“Robert, do you enjoy playing Fred? Does it feel comfortable for you?”
“Yes” he replied.
“Do you know that the story is in fact true, I know many of the people and witnessed many of the acts you play out in the movies.”

At this moment his demeanour changed and I could tell he thought he was dealing with a stalker of a deranged fan (The come in all sorts of packages, trust me). I took this moment to let him know that I am Jesse Walsh and that I have been carrying a terrible burden for years now and I must at any cost have relief.

This is the moment he stood to show me to the door. We are now at the sticking point. I must say he was quite calm as Fred made his appearance… no ripping me open… he just slipped out of my body and then we were three in the room. He was brave and stoic up to the last moment. Then he screams, they all do, he begged but Fred showed him no mercy as he tore into the body he would now use as his own. It is done. I am free of him… he has found a new home. Robert/Fred asked me if I would like to shower before I leave but I declined the offer.

As I walked towards my silent driver and slid into my car, I noticed that Fred had left one last scar for me… a small nick on my lips… as if he had kissed me goodbye… I pushed the button, the window closed and as we drove away… I knew it was over for me.


2011, I walk though Rock and Shock Horror Convention… alone, nobody knows me. I sit at the table with Mark as he signs his name… at one point he excused himself to use the bathroom and a young man asked me if I was him and could I sign an autograph as Jesse… I explained that Jesse would return in a moment… he told me how much he loved Mark and what Jesse meant to him. I smiled and said I understood. After Mark returned… I walked towards Robert’s line… huge, thousands of people waiting to meet the man. Fred smiled at me… and I walked on by.

Perhaps one day some smart police officer will find a body and then another… all across the nation and then they will connect them to the circuit and then to Robert, the most prolific serial killer of all time… but not today. Not today.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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