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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 49, 1985

As I was leaving the studio, the message machine came on and it was Colin telling me change of plans, “meet me at Vogue” easy enough. So I headed there, I guess they are picking up the tab for this. I am happy Colin is so talented and successful; he just seems so relaxed in everything he does, no stress. Off to Vogue.

When I arrive Colin took me to the Men’s Closet and started pulling looks for me.

“I think it would be more interesting to have you “play” the assistant in a lot of shots so we have some wardrobe for you. That will give you a reason to be close to Mark and you will travel with him on an equal footing, it just works better as a shoot.”

He had make up look at me and they played up the scar under my eye… the clothes, rich Edwardian punk… fantastic but strangely subtle obviously worth a million bucks. Colin said “the deal is you keep the clothes as your fee, so as you change… the stylist will pack and this can be you stuff for Paris, we will buy what we need when we get there… sound good? Then we can take the car from the shoot to the Plane, we leave at 4 AM.”

I pretend to be non plus but Jesus… is this really my life. The shoot is called “The Making of an Icon” sort of quick non staged shots of the fly… now I am dressed and we are walking out of the trailer and into Time Square where there are thousands of people lined up to see A Nightmare on Elm Street 2. The film’s name is on every Marquee in the Square.

Colin starts shooting, he calls it strobe fucking… when the lights start to flash the crowd goes wild. Then Mark Patton and Robert Englund come out of the theater… the people go insane… Colin directs me to walk over and say hello, that they are expecting me… as I pass thought the bodyguards my heart is beating out of control.

Robert looks very nice and quite normal although of course he is very high on the rush of the crowd and very talkative… but he is not my target… it’s the shy blond in the center of the crowd, he looks younger than he is and he seems quite comfortable but I can tell he is overwhelmed by what is happening.

Mark turns to say hello and I see we have matching scars… first thing he says is “how did you get yours…Freddy, I mean Robert gave me mine as we were rushing out of a theater, I think we were about to be crushed.” I laughed and said “same guy different time.”

The lights are flashing and Colin is shooting everything. Mark says “would you like a cigarette… I am not supposed to smoke in public but I have had two gins so… be my beard…please” So I take the cigarette and put it to my lips, I can taste him. This is so strange for me, as this boy, this man looks so much like me yet different and I feel from his performance in the film he knows me. I am sure he is gay but he seems relaxed enough to be himself… the stylist takes us to a trailer and changes us into something… who knows what it was at that point… we were naked and I was trying to cover my Jesse scars… I had to notice him and he noticed me… nothing was said, nothing needed to be… yes, this boy was going to be a friend and I realized at that moment that I need one. I wonder how much he intuits, I can tell he feels something… the flashing and the screaming begin again… Colin is laughing and shooting and then it is total madness for four hours.

We travel from theater to theater… Mark becoming more famous with each show… then it is time to go… I am burning up and I now feel Fred in his full power, he wants to be a part of this…. it takes every last bit of strength I have left to hold him back. I can not take a mass murder tonight.

I slip into the car and we slide into the night, we belong to this night, it belongs to us and then we step on to the plane… it is waiting just for us and we fly off into the sun… Paris.

Colin said “it was fantastic shoot, did you like Mark? I haven’t seen the film yet, I hear he is good… we will see it in Paris sometime soon”

With that horrible thought I fall asleep against his shoulder.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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