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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 19, 1982

As I walked out of the gym and into the street…the rain began again. Naked and covered in blood it felt like the universe was washing me clean and I could see what had happened.

I thought about why he had decided to only appear in the other girls’ dreamworld, while here with me he was manifesting himself in My World.

Everything is upside down, in the eyes of the world I am now a murderer. I am not a victim I am inflicting the wound…and only I know. Why?

At that moment the police spotted me… I began to act drunk and showed them my new tattoo, my name carved down my ribs (which were healed, I guess this is my remembrance of this visit) this explained the blood. They thought I was crazy, am I?

When they delivered me to the house, they were all grins and here is your drunk kid. If only they knew. My father said he wanted to know what drugs I was taking and where I was getting them… I resisted the impulse to say Valium, Milltown and speed and I got them from your medicine cabinet. I hurt too much to be hit.

My mother is so beautiful; she walked me up the stairs and to my room to rest. I have to go to school in a few hours to see if this dream is true.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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