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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 58, 1985

I realize now that I am not in this alone. For the first time in what seems eternity, I feel like I can make it though this. I love Colin but I know Lisa and I know that she would totally go to the wall for me. She just did, she let me know she is alive! So the paintings really do have the ability to speak… what about the baby? I will have to wait and find out but whatever the situation I know it is going to be all right, just as it should be. I hope she has the answers to at least some of my questions. I do not care if she knows nothing, I am just so glad she is alive…. please, I cannot go on… just a sec.

I am back out in the crowd, I have to turn off my mind and move through this party… and it is fantastic and I am thrilled, deep inside I am thrilled that someone who knows Jesse will witness all of this with me. Lisa knows; where I come from, what I have been though. I did not realize that I was about to fall apart until I saw her name. Now I know I have been barely hanging on. My eyes lock on Painting number 3, the cuts are exactly where the heart of the painting is. I know this because I built the painting around my broken heart… see the thing is these are very abstract… the paintings, and Fred knew exactly where to cut… the deepest cut.

I know I am in danger now as is Lisa and Colin. CFK likes the way he is fucking around with young minds in Springwood in the Dark and then walking out into the world though me. He will do anything to protect his comfort zone. So it is back to basics… controlling access, controlling my mind, avoiding his targets, in my case young beautiful men and Lisa – Oh My God – would he be fucked up enough to go after Mark? Breathe.

Great! Andy Worhol just walked into the Gallery and the place is ALIVE! Stobe fucking everywhere… they are leading him to me… he smiles, he takes my hand as he stands beside me as the cameras explode he says “Oh My…..Oh My…be careful Jesse.”

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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