My thought was to set the studio on fire… just light it up and let it burn. In my heart I knew that would not cover anything at all! I needed to do something to take the spotlight off me. I began with the carving on his ribs. I got a palate knife and ripped away the skin… this was very difficult and sickening but trust me… Fred has put me in a lot of sick situations (I could hear him mocking me… but I kept him at bay).
I took the underwear to be burned quickly. I made the cut on his face into a word… VAIN and scattered his photos around the room… I wrote on the walls with his blood “That will teach you not to FUCK WITH ME!” In my heart I was sorry to do this but it needed to be done.
I went home, thumb cleaned up and left the studio. On the way to Colin’s I burned the pants in a trash can. I called Lisa from a pay phone on 4th Street and told her to be careful. I explained to her my plan.
Do you think it is morally wrong to kill one more person… if in doing that… I could stop him forever? I have to do the killing… this time out of my own desire… there will be no blaming him. I will not tell you the plan yet, capsule I have to let it unfold and this journal is not safe. Some of you may never understand… but that is life.
Arriving at Colin’s prepared to tell him some parts of the story. When I look at his eyes, so trusting and filled with love… I stumble but I am committed to moving forward. So I begin the story of Elm Street… and I will have to accept his judgement.