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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 36, 1982

I am really not sure about the concept of time anymore or life really. I am not certain how long I have been here, hospital months? Years? People come and go and I stay. Johnson has not appeared for a long time, viagra canada I have a new nurse. I do not know his name, he shaves my head every now and then. He is not familiar with me.

The doctors and the lawyers are gone, gone, gone. I have no one to speak too but myself. I was told sometime ago that my mother committed suicide, very abruptly…your mother is dead… that is it, at that moment I died too.

I have no chains, just these walls. I have been doing yoga for years and it has saved me… it helps my mind, body and soul. I understand so much more about the killings and my involvement in them. Of course Nancy has never come, perhaps she is like me, alone. Sometimes Fred talks to me, but I push him down, away… this was my life…until.

The nurse came to shave me, I was very tired and not in the mood to be sheared. He slapped me in the face, hard and pulled what was left of my hair and laughed. Time stood still, I froze and then HE began softly and gently with the poetry, I could kill him for you if you like…it would be good for us, we need a change and I felt rage again… he had used me and now he was offering his service to me… no kill for me Jesse… NO… I will kill for you. I felt the heat rise up though my spine, just like the snake in kundalini yoga, the sexual feeling was intense, my body was so hot… as the light shot out of my eyes we struck… he was dead before he hit the floor.. Fred craved him up for fun.

I walked to the door, opened it and walked out. I am free.

No need to run as there are no walls, no guards, no prison… just a city… where I simply blended in with the people who crowded the street… to some, a homeless man perhaps but not scary enough to take note of. I am calm as I begin to walk towards the future… with every breath, every step I am planning Jesse’s Revenge.

With the help of Fred, I will find them and kill them all, the people who did this to me and my family and then I will really disappear into the night and sleep.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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