We had a lazy day, lounging, sleeping, eating, and recovering for murder on the airplane. France will have to wait, that is fine as I have no doubt that I will go one day soon. At about 4AM, Colin was sleeping, so I left him a note and went back to my studio.
The East village at 4 AM is still quite alive with junkies, whores and boys on the prowl… I felt completely safe. It is nice to be home. As I walk into the studio I am overwhelmed by my paintings… it is as if I have never seen them. Or they have been painted again while I was away? What I see is so rich, so painful. The bloody colors illuminate the room… they vibrate and are very, very moving for me.
Today they will be moved to the gallery for my show. They will be curated by Patti Smith and she is writing the tags (she is a new girl on the scene, sort of, but you know her). I will not look until the opening. I have all these fabulous clothes to play with, so I will think long and hard about how I would like to appear. I am really beginning to understand that in this world people spend time deciding how they want to be perceived… that a person can have many aspects to a personality or a talent. My old ways of thinking are going away to be replaced by new ideas that are expanding, stretching my mind.
Painting Number 7 “passion” catches my eye as the sun shine though the window and I very clearly see Lisa, glowing and she is having a baby, how strange, the painting is like a looking glass. Lisa having a baby! I am convinced I have been fooled and she is alive… somehow I must quietly find her… perhaps she is terrified and hiding, maybe she would not like to see me… but I must. Now with the new name, I will be lost to her.
Thinking of Mark now… how odd would it be to befriend him… I am looking forward to seeing the Vogue shoot, Colin is very good… I bet we look very cool and now we are linked in another way. I will see the photos later in the day. Colin and I are taking yoga and then whatever.
My new scar from CFK needs tending to… the bed looks very tempting… well maybe just an hour or so.