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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 21, 1982

I am under so much stress, I think I will lose it any minute and now is not the place. Everything grates on me… my girlfriend sounds like a shrink of a minister, if she makes it through this mess… I am sure she is going to help a lot of people but right now I wish she would be quiet.

Her friend keeps blabbing on about her party as if someone isn’t lying dead on the floor 100 feet away and she is sitting with the murderer, maybe I should do her.

God, it’s like I am in a movie but this is real and I am not a mobster… I am or was a future rich guy who is nice and has a lot of fun living in New York or LA. I just noticed blood under my fingernails.

HE is not going to the party, he made up an excuse that he was grounded for throwing his grandmother, I can not even say it…laughed so hard…he wants to stay home and watch something on TV. I would like to skip it to but I need to follow my plan.

Look, I do not want to end up in prison, raped and being some guys bitch ( I would like to say I am being dramatic but I think this is a real option)… and I do not want to kill myself and I do not want knives to kill me either, which he will if he thinks I am not ready to totally integrate him into my life…

Honestly this is seriously fucked up. I will kill my dad for buying that house. That weird fat guy came by our table and said do you know what GAY stand for Got AIDS Yet? What a closet case… The coach was an ass but he IS dead.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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