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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 40, 1982

I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned into Colin as the movie began. At first I was off in a dream world, I have no interest in the movie… so when the music began, the familiar tune took me by surprise and then I saw it. Nancy’s diary coming alive before my eyes… I started to panic, a real panic attack… my focus narrowed, I could not breathe.

I was aware of the audience of the people around me and I tried to hold it together. I began to sweat, my body became very hot as if I had a high fever and then I saw him.

If you knew Kruger you might laugh a bit at his wardrobe in the film, Fred is very stylish, wears his clothing quite well and in spite of his burns is very vain, The hat was perfect, the look in his eye exact. I knew in my heart that Fred had been visiting with Robert Englund the actor who played him in the film, perhaps he passed though his dream world… point is Fred knows about this movie and said nothing to me. I am sure I know why… because it brings the reality back to me, it is clearing my mind.

The people watching the film are entranced, many had seen it before as they are quoting the lines and laughing and screaming… it is horrifying to me, as I have seen these people murdered in my mind… nothing touches the reality of the killings, the smell, the stickiness of the blood, the guilt… most especially the smell of fear and blood.
Again, my life changed in a moment. As you know I am Fred’s ticket, his ride into the real world. Nancy wants him in the real world so she can kill him. I have felt angry and lost, why has Nancy not found me, helped me… has Fred been keeping her from me? Of course he would… thank God I always carry a valium still… I popped two.

Then the movie was over. Colin could tell by my sweaty body and pale face that the movie had not been a successful choice, in his eyes I saw panic and I knew in that moment he really cared for me and was afraid I would run… NO Chance, he is mine… I will not have him stolen from me. My God, do I have to protect him from Fred.

My mind is spinning. Colin tried to laugh the moment off by saying… “Well I guess I will not take you to see Part 2 on Halloween”, my heart sank. Do people not understand this is real? I almost collapsed. Colin said “You are ill, let me get you home” and as if by magic we were there in the safety of my room. Colin said “I am going to stay with you tonight”, I started to cry, I did not have to beg. He undressed me and put me in the shower, I was burning up… he put me in bed… the last thing I remember is him lying beside me looking at a libro of my sketches and I said “Whatever you do don’t fall asleep”. He smiled at me and then I was gone, back into the Nightmare.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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