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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 42, 1982

I have not wasted a moment of the past weeks. Painting has taken over my life and this is good because I process everything that is happening through the paint. The studio is a wreck as working studios often are but as this also a home I have to clean.

Colin is returning from Thailand and we have much to talk about. So I put on the music and for old time’s sake do my naked Swan Lake, physician certain in the fact that I will not be bothered. I am using a old swing time record player that I found at Trash and Vaudville. I love the diamond needle and the popping and cracking. Dancing makes the time fly and I was finished in less than a hour.

I have a coke and reflect on the past two weeks.

The paintings look good, discount viagra my idea is to paint 5 large canvasses to be displayed simultaneously on the 7 continents. Stations of the Cross. Each canvas contains my blood, my soul, my tears and sadness after returning with Fred. I sleep on the canvass for a night letting it absorb all that energy and pain and like I said blood, tears, piss whatever is needed… some times I have people pee on them (the pizza delivery guy was shocked but i tipped him 10 dollars), or if they want to donate blood is fine.

Then like Helen Frankenthaler, I use chemicals, raw pigment and thinners, moving the image around in a weird trance like dance… then I let everything bleed into each other… finally after a few days, a high gloss vanish moved with 24 K gold dust. Fantastically soulful and tortured.

My agent said this awfully ambitious but good. I have a patron who will foot the bill, and trust me it is a lot of money. I have never met him but he likes to view my work in private, so Sid lets him in when I am not there.

My last will be completed tonight, I must add passion to this painting and some more body fluids, so since Colin is coming home… we might as well be covered in paint. I will order in as I know he will be very tired. We need to talk about the shoot also as I was hired at his suggestion, Catwalk Horrrors or as I say Catwalk Whorers. Death by catwalk… do not think Laura Mars… this is unique and shows the clothes, I pulled some amazing stuff. I hope Colin and Vogue like (and I hope I can but the amazing pant off model number 7)

I have been thinking about what Fred said in regards to changing my name as “Nightmare on Elm Street 2” is coming within the week. I spoke with Sid and he says it has to happen yesterday..so I am playing with my new idenity..I am sorry friends but I can not share this with you but Jesse Walsh needs to vanish now There is NO Jesse now. I have been investigating the actor playing me his name is Mark Patton. he is in Los Angeles now but is flying into the opening..I will arrange to meet him one way or another..If it were not for Colin I think I would try to seduce him..it would be a stange feeling to fuck with yourself..but that was just a thought that past in the night, ended rather abrupty and then I feel asleep. I am sure the guys in the crowd understand, fantasy is healthy. Well I will shower and nap..I have a feeling I am in for a long night.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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