After a few hellish minutes alone with Ron, cure I knew I had to run… I was covered in his blood and my own. Fred had slithered back into my body and was enjoying my pain firsthand but he was quiet, ambulance no whispering in my mind… perhaps he escapes into his dream world after he kills.
I just knew I had a few minutes as the police where at the door… so I made my way out the window, crying like a wounded animal. I thought the police saw me so I screamed – he is still in the house. I am not sure how I made it to Lisa but I did… I began to explain to her the reality of the situation….although I did not like the entire film, the scene in the movie they made about us is very close to the facts and quiet realistic (I do like the actors who played both Lisa and I… in fact I have stayed in touch with Mark for years).
As Fred reappeared it seemed my mind fractured and I split and Fred rode my body into the real world… I am not sure who the people saw… me or him… but I am haunted by the look in Mikes eyes as he tried to calm the situation down, I think he saw me… he was the next to die and my mind exploded.
He was the love I had protected, Ron had protected, Lisa had known and understood, I saw her watch in horror as his body was devastated. I could see him slipping into my room after working and we would share our plans for the future and now that was gone… I believe in that moment I went completely insane… but as he died I knew he saw me… you see, I now know that Freddy gets off on cruelty so this was an orgasm for him. He took his victims by choice, all the boys that died that night (and it is true only boys were killed there) where guys who had slurred or harmed me in some way… the fat boy who had walked by our table on the day after the first murder and said Got AIDS YET was the next to go and the last that I really remember seeing killed… I am sad to say I took so pleasure in seeing his pain… Fred really enjoyed that.
I will tell you more tomorrow… talking about Mike has brought me very low… I love you children and I will explain it all to you before I go. Goodnight, Jesse.