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Jesse’s Lost Journal — by Mark Patton

Entry 39, 1982

I remember that the radio was playing “The Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore” and I was ready to go. It had taken me an hour to choose my clothing, which is stupid I know but like I said before I am trying to be honest and a lot of this is very new to me. I have had to hide for so long now, write in code, cover my tracks. Being truthful when writing this is difficult. I embarrass easily… thank God CFK had taken off for parts unknown. I was alone and waiting, I was nervous.

Then Colin was at the door, he brought me a housewarming gift, saying when he moved to New York he owned nothing. He gave me a beautiful blanket made of cashmere and wool; I cannot explain the color but even looking at it made me feel rich.

I was glad I had chosen my PARIS sweatshirt, I felt looked cool and like I belonged in New York. He said the blanket was to keep me safe and warm in my new home as this building was very old and famous for lack of heat, Then it was time to go, Colin touched me lightly in the small of my back as if to let me know that I should walk out the door first, I felt this was a good sign of him being a decent person.
As we walked to dinner, I was amazed at how comfortable I felt, I noticed all the people moving rapidly, some slowly… all involved in their own world… nobody stared at us as we walked and talked, we were not freaks, just two guys out for a walk.

Dinner was really cool, we went to Le Zinc, mirrors everywhere, French food and models everywhere… I swear I saw Madonna but I may have made that up in my mind. We talked for hours; the fact that Colin looked so much like Grady was a comfort to me. I always thought my friend Ron was very handsome and was the type of person I would never be able to touch… I said I would be truthful, this is difficult. If this offends you read no further, I do not want you here. This is my new life and I want not to be ashamed of what I say, do and think. This is my promise to myself. Now that my Mother and Father are gone, I have only myself to answer too.

We talked about so much, he told me the history of my building. Much like the Chelsea Hotel it houses some of the great new artist of the 1980s, Jean Michael is living there now and Andy Warhol visits him. Patti Smith and Robert Maplethorpe lived here together for a while. Colin said I must be very talented and very lucky to have landed there, all the signs pointed towards success. Colin said the path to fame is very dangerous and illusive, that I should move slowly because many fall by the wayside. He talked of himself, very cool person with a great history and he said a strange taste for horror movies which was his way of saying it is 11:30 we have to run…

It seems the movie we are seeing is the talk of the town and he said be prepared to be scared, it was not what I really wanted but I was happy and relaxed… so we ran to the 8th Street Playhouse, got some popcorn and slid into out seats just as the lights dimmed and the movie began.

Jesse’s Lost Journals

~ Preface ~

Jesse's Lost Journals
© by Mark Patton. All Rights Reserved.

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