I need time to think and relax so I took to Valium from mom’s bathroom and now I can breathe.
I have decided to be completely honest as I have a feeling this journal may end up in court and maybe my only salvation. If people see what I am going though perhaps in a small way they can understand. I admit to the world it will seem that I am a murderer, check the coach is dead…and my hand killed him… at least in this reality.
I know that Fred has long term intentions for me or I would already be dead. I am not Nancy Thompson, order he wants something totally different from me… and to save the people I love I am going to let him think he is winning.
It is scary to wake up one morning to the realization that a murderer has fit himself snuggly into you, your body, soul, dreams… he has taken you before you knew he was there… infected by him and there he waits.
I have a life going on that is upside down. I am in love for the first time in my life, I am not going to talk about that now as I need to keep something for myself… mine alone, for a while. I must rest, I am not foolish enough to believe I will not dream the dream…
I pray that all of you made it though the night. Jesse.